Q: I don’t need 10 cases of bottles much less an entire pallet, can I order just six?
A: We respectfully request that you order at least 10 cases at a time. However, we’re also pretty flexible and if you absolutely insist on ordering, say, five cases, get in touch and we’ll try to convince you to buy 10 cases help you out.
Q: I meant literally six bottles, can I order just six bottles?
A: Yeah, no. There are plenty of suppliers out there better suited to your needs, we hope you understand.
Q: Hola, I live in Cádiz, Spain. Do you ship here?
A: We’ll ship anywhere that makes economic sense for both parties. Spain is probably a stretch, though. However, if you live in Cadiz, Kentucky, give us a shout and we’ll be happy to draw up a quote for you. Gracias.
Q: Do you offer bulk pricing discounts?
A: By default, we already offer bulk pricing discounts; because we purchase so much inventory at once, we’re able to pass along those savings to you. Think of us like Costco, just without those delicious food samples.
Q: No I’m serious, do you offer bulk pricing discounts?
A: Alright fine. We do offer tiered discounts for large quantities, but like really really large quantities. Get in touch and let’s see how large your quantities are, tough guy.
Q: Can I order as a gift?
A: We have absolutely no idea why you’d give someone a pallet of empty wine bottles as a gift but, um, sure?
Q: I hate using forms, shopping carts and all this online ordering stuff. Do I have to?
A: We’d like you to stick to online ordering if for no other reason than it’s best for both of us. We get it, though, sometimes you just need to talk or maybe you’re out on a retreat where there’s no internet and you’re like OMG I totally forgot I need 16 pallets of growlers, STAT. We gotchu. You can call the warehouse or email us and we’ll take care of you.
Q: I never heard of you. How do I know you’re legit?
A: Have you ever been to a concert and your hipster friend is like “I was into these guys before they were cool”? Well that’s what our existing clients would say; we’ve been doing this for a long time, just on a more limited scale. We realized that we wanted to bring the same savings and service to more wineries and breweries, so that’s what we’re doing. I assure you we are legit, but please don’t say that word in front of our CEO or he’s gonna break into an MC Hammer dance number and that would be awkward.
Q: Do I really have to pay shipping?
A: Yes, you really have to pay shipping, but we will do our best to make it as reasonable as possible. We tried to convince our CEO to save a little money by offering a service whereupon he straps a pallet of wine bottles to his back and delivers them himself but he didn’t go for it.
Q: I am actually in Central Virginia where you are, do *I* have to pay shipping?
A: Pickup at our warehouse in Ashland, VA is totally, 100% free. Call us to discuss.
Q: Can I call you for absolutely no reason?
A: I mean… sure?
Q: Me and my friend Alex decided to buy a winery, like out of nowhere. We have absolutely no idea what kind of bottles to order, can you help us?
A: Although most of our existing customers know exactly what they need, yes we can absolutely help you figure that out. Call or email, our friendly warehouse operators are standing by. Unless it’s lunchtime, in which case they’re probably standing by the microwave staring at their food spin around.
Q: I don’t see the exact bottles I want, do you do custom orders?
A: We’ll assemble our team and do the Chicken Dance in front of your establishment if that will make you happy. So yes, custom orders aren’t a problem. If there’s something you want and we don’t have it, get in touch. Unless you want a unicorn, that we can’t get sorry. Believe me, we tried.
Q: I want to have some logo glasses made up, will you do them for my favorite NFL/NBA/MLB team?
A: Sorry, but in order to have branded glassware made, you need to be the trademark/copyright holder of the logo, or have authorization to use it. I’m guessing if we call up [head dude of the NFL] he’s gonna be like nah I don’t even know that guy Todd.
Q: Fine. My college reunion is in six months and I want to have some custom glasses made with a logo I designed myself. It’s super badass actually do you want to see it?
A: Um… sure? But yes, we can put just about anything on a glass for you.
Q: Can you put my favorite NFL team on one, then?
A: I already told you, Todd. No.
Q: What happens if something is wrong with my order?
A: In the unlikely event that something goes horribly awry with your order, we’ll fix it. In the event it goes mildly awry, we will also fix it.
Q: What if I need to add to my order after I ordered it?
A: That happens to me on Amazon all the time! We should be able to hook you up assuming your order didn’t already arrive at its destination.
Q: What if I have more questions that aren’t frequently asked?
A: Get in touch, we’ll get you hooked up.